Reference Letter for Ex-Girlfriend (Any)

February 30, 2011

To Whom It May Concern or Unease;

Please accept this Letter of Recommendation for (Insert Name Here).

Over the course of the last (__) months, she has provided a reasonable level of girlfriend services and companionship.  Many of these duties she has completed with reserve, humility and, it must be said, surefootedness.

She maintains elegance and poise at public functions, although, I did find my experience to include overhearing questions like “What is SHE doing with someone like him?” which she handled with aplomb and humour.  My advice, match your shoes with your sweat pants.

She keeps a very tidy house, and should you bespoil it during a visit, she keeps a very meticulous list of what and where you left items around the house.  You won’t need a pocket organizer around her!

Her birthday is quite likely in September but you may want to find out specifics by tricking her into telling you during after-dinner conversation.  Rummaging through her purse for ID may leave you caught out, as I found to my cost.

You will have discovered by now that her name is quite ordinary, and dare I say, forgettable.  You may utter another associate’s name in error and perhaps under the most damnable or intimate circumstances.  A trick I learned when meeting people is to say their name three times in very short succession.  There may be a quiz.

From time to time, coital consortium will be necessary, an activity which my ex-girlfriend engages in with enthusiasm and some rigour.  She demands as good as she gives.  You will discern a competitive streak in her during these times as she prefers to be the focus of your attentions and shall not be pitted against SportsCentre or Conan.

In closing (_______) will make a fine addition to your company.  If you elect the pleasure of her’s, you shall be enthralled by a woman of beauty, wit and singular vision – especially of you and what you should do and/or wear and/or do for a living/get a living.  If you’re into constant feedback, then put a ring on it!

Your’s essentially,

Russell J. Bowers